World’s oldest joke

There has never been
a wife who hasn’t farted
in her husband’s lap.
(This is the world’s oldest joke, according to a list published by the University of Wolverhampton.  See the story here.)

Flying monkeys

I just discovered
that monkeys can fly.  They ride
in hot air baboons.

How to argue with a woman

There are two ways to
argue with a woman, and
neither of them works.

Fly in my soup

What’s that fly doing
in my soup, waiter?  Sir, it
looks like the backstroke.